Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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