I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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