Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
