Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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