well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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