stop calling my apartment porn island.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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