Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
