So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
