so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
