You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
