Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
