I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
