Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
