I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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