I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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