Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
