She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
