Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
