Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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