i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
