It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
