Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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