New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
