Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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