at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
