just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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