Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
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I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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