Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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