____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize