you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
