Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
