More tranny stories later!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
