he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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