:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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