She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
