even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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