i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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