She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
