are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
