My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
