I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The air was thick with penises
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
