i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
