In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Randomize
