My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
