you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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