Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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