Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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