Your dad touched me again.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
