Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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