can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
