She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
