We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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