no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
