Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
