my sisters under your porch take her home
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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