This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
