But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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