So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
