Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Randomize
