It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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