On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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