As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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