Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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