her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
