Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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